Mrs. Fiorini

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Posts by Mrs. Fiorini

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  14

  WHERE DO THEY GET THIS STUFF FROM???

  by whereami in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  illustration aboutobedience given by a brother at a new kingdom hall in new england:.

  do you realize that in the bible there are many instances of situations.

  where jehovah's people were given directions that made no sense from .

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  Mrs. Fiorini

  I wonder if that's what the people in Jonestown thought as they drank the kool aid.
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  52

  Snapped. It just occurred to me that I REALLY hate my life. Mostly all of it.

  by easyreader1970 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here lately, i have just been wishing that i could just fast-forward through my remaining years on earth and just die to get this nonsense all over with.. i have only myself to blame.

  if i had gone through with my attempt to leave this hokey religion about sixteen years ago when i attempted to--before i got married and had kids--then maybe i wouldn't be teetering on the very slippery edge of sanity.

  instead i punked out, buckled under the threats of shunning and guilt of abandoning family members, and so here i am--looking into the mirror every morning wondering when the nightmare is going to end.

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  Mrs. Fiorini

  I've mentioned this in previous posts but am bringing it up again since it may help.

  Steven Hassan's book, "Releasing The Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves" is excellent. It gives family members tips and techniques on how to help cult members leave. It includes several success stories of JWs.

  His approach is based on building trust and rapport with your loved one. He advises not to be confrontational and criticize the WT, but to point out how other cults work and let the JW make the obvious connections.

  It's well worth a look.
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  7

  what percentage of jws do not agree with shunning?..or ignore it?

  by oompa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am betting over 50 percent..........oompa.

  my own mom....elders wife of forever....says she does not believe it is proper if kids were baptized!....yea mom!....too bad my dad shuns my son........oompa.

  oh...and my super good jw son does not shun me the apostadad...nor his df brother...so i bet a ton dont buy it...maybe 80%.

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  Mrs. Fiorini

  Unfortunately for me, my family does.
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  30

  American Life : Some questions

  by LouBelle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there are a couple of things i'd like to know about you guys:.

  ** why does it seem that so many have wooden homes?.

  ** 401k - is this a pension plan of sorts & are you obligated to take one?.

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  Mrs. Fiorini

  Why do we have wooden homes? I once knew a man from the UK. He wondered the same thing. What do you build your homes out of?

  401K's? It used to be that most large employers offered pensions. Now only a few companies still do. Most large companies offer 401K's instead, where you contribute to your own retirement and they may or may not match the contribution. It is voluntary.

  Automatics? Mr. Fiorini and I have two cars. One is an automatic, the other a stick shift.

  Proud to be American? Yes, but I haven't always been. Growing up a JW, I was taught not to identify with my country (too nationalistic). After I left, I didn't give it too much thought until the Bush administration. Sadly, I was embarrassed by the way Bush dealt with the rest of the world. Now I am hopeful with Obama. The US has, at times, stood for freedom, democracy and human rights. That is something Americans can be proud of, in my opinion.

  Rest of the world? I think it's possible for some citizens of a "superpower" to fall into the trap of thinking the world revolves around them. Additionally, many Americans have descended from immigrants who came to the US in search of a better life, and they sometimes think everyone else views the US from that perspective. But I also think that many Americans are aware of the rest of the world. And as that world becomes more and more interconnected, any problems will resolve themselves. I am interested in the world and have had the opportunity to travel to other places, including Europe. I hope to do more travelling in my life and believe that we all learn from each other.

  American dream? The founding fathers of the US wanted to create a country that provided its citizens the opportunity for "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." The US became a melting pot of peoples who, mostly, emigrated from around the world. Some were native (unfortunately they were treated pretty badly), others were brought as slaves against their will (also treated terribly), but many came voluntarily, often fleeing difficult conditions at home. These people believed that if they were smart, worked hard, and conducted themselves honestly, they would be able to make good and prosperous lives for themselves and their families. Many consider this ideal of opportunity and meritocracy the American dream.

  British ancestors? Some of my ancestors are English and Welsh. Others are of various European backgrounds, including French and Norwegian. The most recent immigrants in my family came from Sweden. Mr. Fiorini, as you may have guessed, is half Italian. His mother's family is of British ancestry. In the hundreds of years of US history, there has been a lot of mixing and matching. Many no longer know where their ancestors came from, and just consider themselves American.

  Fast food? I doubt there's an American alive who hasn't eaten at McDonald's at least once in their life (unless they're an infant). I try not to do fast food very often. It is tempting though, because it's cheap, convenient and, well, fast.
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  9

  so how is your conscience now?...changed a bit?

  by oompa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well mine sure as hell has......i first started cussin worse than a sailor.....then i realized that i had led a double life since third grade anyway...so why stop now just because i totally woke up...and my jw wife is still a zombie?....and since i am now a fukkin master at compartmentalizing....ya... just put all the crap in a box.....i can pretty much do anything....and live with it...put it away in a box...... so hate me already........but anybody else go through this??...............oompa.

  and ya...btw.......i so fukkin hate this double life....dont know how long i can do this..........

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  Mrs. Fiorini

  I was lucky in that when I left the JWs I was living in a different state than the rest of my family. I could live how I wanted and they wouldn't know if I didn't tell them. Then I moved back to my home state and lived the life of the faded for a few years. When I decided to start living an authentic life in front of my family, most of them started shunning me even though I was not DF'd or DA'd. So I understand your struggle.

  Have you read Steven Hassan's book, "Releasing the Bonds?" It has some good strategies on how to nonconfrontationally help your loved ones out of the cult. I wish I had read it when my family was still talking to me. If you can get some of your family out, you won't have to live a double life, at least around them.
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  36

  LURKING JW: Thinking of leaving? Learn from my experience.

  by SnakesInTheTower in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "mental wondering in the wilderness"... uh oh.... it's a long post from snakes.... lol.

  yep... i think that is the best way to describe where i am at in life right now.

  if you have read my past posts (mostly in the private section) you know some of my history as a life-long (now former) witness.. i have been away from the jw religion, for all intents and purposes, since dec. 06, though it was not until sept 07 that i stopped attending meetings.

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  Mrs. Fiorini

  You said, "My family tree is as stunted as my social circle." Do you feel open to having a greater relationship with your non JW brothers? Rebuilding those family ties might give you a greater sense of connectedness and belonging that you lost upon leaving the WT. Just a thought.

  Some other ideas I'll throw out for you to take or leave as you see fit:

  Between work and school you are probably pretty busy. But do you have any time for community service? Volunteering in the community (at a food bank, homeless shelter, school, the possibilities are endless) would be a way to connect with others and make a difference in their life. It could also help you feel more valuable to your community and give you a greater sense of purpose. And it may lead to meeting new friends.

  If you can find a way to get some therapy, it could really help. As I'm sure you're aware, being in a cult has a significant impact on one's life. And so is leaving it. I got counseling around the time I left the WT and it was very helpful to me in processing that experience. You might be able to find a therapist that works on a sliding scale.

  I have found that living in a town, at least temporarily, where I don't have family, former JW friends, etc. is a freeing experience. You don't constantly have to look over your shoulder or get judged by them for the choices you make in your life. For me, I felt freer to grow as a person and figure out who I was and how I wanted to live. This has it's limits though. One can't run away from one's life by moving (though it's been tried).

  Best wishes to you and good luck.

  PS - I went to college as an older student, too. It did feel awkward, especially at first. But I found that I was a better student than I would have been right out of high school. The experiences I had living life helped me understand what I was learning better. It was harder to get in the habit of doing all that reading though.
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  29

  My sister called! I've written her a letter...

  by Confession in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was working in corpus christi this past weekend, when my sister called out of the blue on sunday.

  she, like the rest of my family, is a very zealous jw, and since i am recognized as an apostate, i haven't seen nor spoken to her in about four years.

  i was completely shocked that she called.

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  Mrs. Fiorini

  Great letter with important points. Please let us know if you get any positive feedback from her.
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  12

  Cliche's

  by Quirky1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  surely everybody has one... here's mine.... busier than a three legged cat in a litter box..

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  Mrs. Fiorini

  My dad likes to say, "Slicker than snot on a greasy doorknob."

  Mr. Fiorini's dad used to say, "Colder than a well diggers ass in the Klondike."

  I don't know where this stuff comes from.
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  4

  Thank you Lifetime Network

  by JimmyPage in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife was watching a movie on lifetime called "in god's country" about a religious cult.

  it gave me the perfect opportunity to tell her the identifying marks of a cult.

  i said, "cults claim they have a direct pipeline to god, that everyone outside of their group is under the influence of satan, and they keep people in line by practicing shunning.

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  Mrs. Fiorini

  Great job!! This is the way to help people out of the WT without triggering all the defenses to go up. Let us know if your tactics eventually pay off.
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  12

  Met a non-practicing JW at the airport - indoctronization is strong

  by Robert7 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was witnessed from a guy who has never been to meetings!.

  so i was sitting at an airport bar, watching the obama parade on tv, and the guy next to me mentions to me that he likes obama, but didn't vote.

  this guy does not meet the typical jw profile.

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  Mrs. Fiorini

  It's sad isn't it? Just goes to show that many more are damaged by the org than the 7 million members they claim. I agree with leavingwt. We have a lot of work to do.